A few years ago, when we first began publishing Critter Chatter, we received a telephone call from a young woman named Donna, requesting a personalized copy of the “ Rainbow Bridge” for her dog Casper, who had recently died. While taking the information we needed, I asked how she was coping, and she answered that she just felt weary all the time, just tired and sad. We had recently lost a dog, Paddy, who was about the same age as Casper, and that was the way I felt when Paddy died. We talked for awhile, and afterward I started to write her a note to include with her “ Rainbow Bridge” when it was ready. The note grew into two pages, as much for me, I suppose, as it was for Donna.

"Donna

Here is the copy of Rainbow Bridge you asked for. I hope it helps to get you through this time. Casper sounds like he was a great dog and a great friend. Losing a pet you love is always so difficult, and it is even more difficult when that pet has shared so many years with you. Fourteen years is such a large portion of a persons life, and losing someone who has been a part of you for that long leaves a huge emptiness in your life.

A few years ago, I lost a little dog, a Cairn Terrier named Paddy. Like most terriers, he had a mind of his own, and couldn’t understand why people didn’t realize that what he wanted to do was more interesting than what they wanted him to do. It wasn’t that he wouldn’t come when you called; he just wanted to finish what he was doing first.

Paddy was a chow hound - he would find food anywhere. We had to watch him when we took him to a park; he would walk over to people on picnic blankets and stare them down for food. Paddy had a face very few could resist. If no one noticed him, he would just go over to the food and pick something out for himself. Most people laughed; some didn’t.

One Sunday afternoon we went to Stone Mountain to take a hike up to the top. This was when you could take dogs on the mountain. At the top, a couple and their two kids were sitting on a blanket having a picnic. The man was talking about something with his family, holding a chicken leg in his hand while he talked. I looked around to see where Paddy was, and saw him standing next to the guy’s hand, staring at the chicken. The wife and kids see him, but the guy doesn’t. Everyone within 100 feet of their blanket sees Paddy, and they are all watching to see what is going to happen. Just as I spot him and start to yell, he decides he’s waited long enough, steps forward and takes the chicken right out of the guy’s hand. The guy gets this surprised look on his face and starts sputtering about the dog stealing his food. The wife and kids fall over laughing. All the people who have been watching are howling. The guy goes ballistic. I run over trying to apologize and sound sincere, but I’m laughing so hard that I’m doubled over. I retrieved the chicken leg, but now, after making a big scene, he didn’t want it. People - go figure.

I’m telling you this not because I approve of stealing food, but because that was Paddy, and whenever I think about him, I think of that incident. The morning he died, as I was trying to understand it, I went out on the porch and sat thinking about him, and all the good times I had with him. And I smiled, and then I laughed a little. The pain I felt over losing him has eased, but the pleasure he brought to my life lives on with the memories I have of him.

I can’t tell you how to deal with your loss and the grief you feel; grief is a personal thing and each of us must handle it our own way. If I can offer one suggestion, it would be to try to think about Casper and the fun you had, little adventures you had together, amusing anecdotes, all the little things that brought so much joy and pleasure to your life. You will probably cry, but the tears will be tears of joy and sorrow mixed, and over time the sorrow will diminish, and the feeling of joy and pleasure will remain.

I planted a tree for Paddy, and I think about him as I watch it grow. It’s a red maple, and it will be a nice tree when it grows up. Paddy would have liked it. He would have peed on it.

You mentioned that you were going to attend grief counseling sessions. That is a good idea; just being able to talk to someone who cares and understands will help.

This is a difficult time, and one all animal lovers and pet owners face the day they get a pet. Time is the only thing that helps; that and being able to talk about how you feel with someone who cares and understands. If you need to talk, give us a call. We’ve been there. "